Whatever is in the Well...

I  have been considering recently the culture of our homes. I remember when we were married we were told it doesn't really matter that we have an international marriage, because any marriage is two home cultures becoming one and each household becomes a unique culture of its own. I found this to be true. As I became a mother, I also realised the need for myself to cultivate a culture of my own, for my own sake and for the sake of my family. A wise man once said, "Whatever is down in the well is going to come up in the bucket." No matter who we are, man or woman, single or married, childless or having a house of 5 children, we need to cultivate a culture for ourselves and continue to make growing an aim in life. 

A recent comment made to me cut me and has given me a lot of thought. In a mixed group, we were talking about how quickly the weekend goes by and, "Oh, I can't believe tomorrow is Monday already," the sort of comments we all tend to make. A person looked at me and said, "What difference could that possibly make to you?!" She thought and made a point of saying that because I am a stay at home mother who homeschools her children, that Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, etc. must all look the same! Surely, I am a lady of leisure who lives perpetually in the weekend! I was actually quite devastated because of the insinuation of my laziness and contentment to live off of my husband's hard work while doing none of my own. In fact, a mother has an overwhelming job. She is training children and she is a dietician, laundress, hostess, taxi driver, teacher, cleaner, nurse, wife, mother. She has the tendency to throw so much of herself into those roles that she stops growing spiritually and mentally. Karen Andreola describes, "Physically she feels dragged through the day until one day, without being able to mark where it began, she lives with depression. Her mind is a drifting fog when she wants to think clearly and efficiently, She considers herself hopelessly behind in everything." We mothers can begin to starve ourselves spiritually, mentally and consequently emotionally. 

Now, I have a unique look into this aspect of life because I am living it. I am a busy, hard-working, dedicated, self-sacrificing mother. And I need encouragement sometimes. If you have a mother, or your wife is a mother, please stop what you're doing and thank her. And for any mothers who are reading this, please know that you are seen. Your efforts are not measured in a paycheck. Oh no, your efforts will not get you any sort of reward or recognition from day to day. But you are investing in the absolute most important thing, the most worthy thing possible: the future and the souls of your children. Or maybe you're a dedicated teacher. Maybe you're a favourite "auntie or uncle" or a grandparent. That investment is so worthwhile. But, I revert back to my original points. Culture and growth. 

Growth comes from steadiness. Have you learned that? We don't grow by impulse, but by the dedication to a craft or topic. "We have learned to live off of adrenaline instead of that highly practical virtue: fortitude." There is much to be said for staying the course. We must always keep something handy that we can grow by. Maybe some good books, maybe a podcast on a topic of interest, maybe a hobby that we've always wanted to do but just never found the time for. I was about 35 years old when I began making pottery. It certainly wasn't because I had oodles of spare time to fill, or so much energy that I needed to channel it somewhere. I began pottery as part of my own culture. I need something, besides my children, husband and duties, in which I could challenge myself and grow. I need to have fulfillment outside of anyone else. I am a firm believer in the verse, "Godliness with contentment is great gain." I want to marry contentment with growth. We were never supposed to stop thinking, to stop trying new things or striving to be better. But we can become stale. So maybe today this is a challenge for you. What are you doing to cultivate culture in your own life? Whatever is down in the well is going to come up in the bucket. By creating culture in your own life, you will benefit those around you. Your family, your children, your friends will all benefit from the growth and contentment they see in you. 

And again, speaking directly to the mothers, particularly the stay at home mothers, please do this. Please, please, be aware of the depression that can sneak up on us and steal our joy. Do something for your own enjoyment as you do the tasks for everyone around you. And thank you. I appreciate you. God sees you. Your efforts are valiant and worthwhile. If you are looking for resources of encouragement I would recommend the book Mother Culture by Karen Andreola. She comes from a home educators perspective, but any mother can be encouraged by her writing. And for the home educators out there, I really appreciate Simply Charlotte Mason. They have a YouTube channel and you may find some direction and encouragement in training your children. It's not an easy task and we can all use some advice and wisdom! 

Be blessed!